Does It Bring Me Joy?

As you could probably tell by my last post two weeks ago, it's been a bit of a struggle around here. I want to say that it hasn't changed much in the past two weeks, but that's not true. From struggle comes growth and we've definitely done some growing!

We knew that simplifying our lives would be a journey and that we'd have to learn from some mistakes along the way. Well, even though we have made some changes, things just weren't working. After weeks of feeling aggravated and stressed out - which ultimately ended up causing a combo panic/asthma attack one afternoon - I had to take a step back. This is not what I wanted. This is not what I was supposed to be feeling. It was time to stop, re-evaluate, and ask some questions.

What is the issue?
I am still feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by stuff. Overwhelmed by tasks. I feel like I'm doing so much with not much to show for it. Our family relationships are suffering because we're all stressed out and exhausted.

What do we want from this journey?
We want to live purposefully. We want everything that we do to bring us as much joy as possible. We want to enjoy life and not feel as though life is swallowing us whole.

How can we get there?
Eliminate, repair, or modify the things that are not bringing us joy.

Let me explain our "How can we get there" statement. We believe that everything we do or own requires a certain amount of work to keep it functional. Every item in our house requires work (yes, even the kid toys - you know all that work it takes to clean it up multiple times per day?). Every activity we do requires work. If the amount of work required for an activity or item is causing more stress than the amount of joy that it is bringing to us, then that activity or item is no longer functional for our family. Obviously there are the "no choice" things like doing laundry or dishes or going to a job or school, but there's still a certain amount of joy in each one of those. We enjoy wearing clean clothes and eating off of clean dishes. We enjoy the income a job brings and we enjoy the friends that we meet through school. But when the optional items are causing a problem, it's time to ask ourselves if it's worth it anymore.

We've had to apply that to our pets as well. We loved our guinea pigs, but when it came down to it, I was stressed out from the work required to maintain their cage and the money it was taking to purchase their food and bedding (close to $30 per month - that's $360 per year!). I was not getting much joy and that money could be used to pay down our mortgage or student loans. After some serious evaluation, we decided to re-home the guinea pigs. Thankfully we found a home quickly and there are four little girls who were very excited to welcome guinea pigs into their lives. We are happy that they are bringing joy to someone. We are currently having to evaluate the role our three cats play in our lives and deciding how to approach it. It's not easy, but when animals are causing actual damage to your home and relationships, then it's time to find a way to fix it. The animals deserve a better life than that too.

Training yourself to ask "Does it bring me joy?" whenever you are making a decision isn't easy, but well worth it. I'm finding that it's easier to purge our belongings when I ask myself that question. If the answer isn't a definite yes, then I don't need it in my life.

Overwhelmed and Trying

I started reading the book Organized Simplicity by Tsh Oxenreider over at Simple Mom.  It's amazing.  Everything she says hit the center of my soul and I knew I wanted to strive to create a life like that for us.  I didn't expect to get emotional reading about simplifying your life and home, but I did!  I think that means I really want it.

But simply wanting does not make it happen.  I've been feeling somewhat overwhelmed for the past few days.  I'm not sure why, but I feel like there's still too much stuff in my house.  We need to purge again but I'll get to that in a minute.  It's difficult because I'm ignoring certain areas of my house because I don't feel like I can do it by myself.  I get overwhelmed fast.  I need my husband to help, but he's not the organizational type and trying to make him do it anyway just stresses him out.  Especially since I'm pretty OCD about how I want things and he doesn't do it right.  And yes, by "right" I mean "the way I want him to do it".  The rooms in question?  The office (just thinking about it makes me twitch) and the laundry room.  Both of these rooms need massive organizational system makeovers, so it's not just that they need to be cleaned.  They need adequate storage for the things that we need in order to be truly simplified and not a gigantic mess.

Back to the purging.  I've gotten rid of SO much stuff, but there still seems to be more.  I need to work on better purging my closet.  I have clothes I never wear and way too many shoes.  But goodness knows I am not great with parting with things unless I really don't like it anymore or it's broken.  But I also hate clutter and things that are not organized.  Which is more important to me?  The stuff or the peace of mind that comes with simplifying my belongings?  I am determined to not be a slave to material items.  Not only is it stupid because they are JUST things, but it goes against my faith.  Even if faith isn't in aspect in this for you, simply keeping in mind what is more important to you (stuff or simplifying) will be a great place to be coming from.

You may have noticed that purging belongings is a big thing for me.  I'll tell you why.  My family never got rid of anything.  Everything was in some way in the "sentimental" or "we might need it" categories.  My mother never learned how to simplify belongings because her mother was a hoarder.  I've had my fair struggle with breaking free of those habits and I still have to work on it, but I am serious about simplifying.  We will not live that way.  There's a commercial that I just hate.  It's for a self-storage facility (luckily for them, I don't remember which one) and it shows a house full to the brim with things.  And I mean full like houses you see on the TV show Hoarders.  The person living in the house looks massively stressed out and then the voiceover says, "Too much stuff?  Get a storage unit!".  My husband knows when that commercial comes on TV because I start screaming "NO!!  NO!!" at the tube.  Storage units are fine and well when you NEED them, but if you're just getting one because you can't fit all your crap in your house and you don't want to get rid of anything?  That's a problem.  Why must we have so much stuff?  Simple answer: We don't have to.

Maybe this post hasn't been particularly helpful for you, but my goal with this blog was to document my frustrations and struggles along with the improvements we make.  Currently, I'm feeling frustrated, but I'll be honest and say that it may just be hormones.  I knew this journey would be full of ups and downs, and starts and stops.  But I know I can do it because others have done it.  And if you want to see a great example of what simplicity should look like, get Organized Simplicity and check out Simple Mom.