Monday, February 20, 2012

Does It Bring Me Joy?

As you could probably tell by my last post two weeks ago, it's been a bit of a struggle around here. I want to say that it hasn't changed much in the past two weeks, but that's not true. From struggle comes growth and we've definitely done some growing!

We knew that simplifying our lives would be a journey and that we'd have to learn from some mistakes along the way. Well, even though we have made some changes, things just weren't working. After weeks of feeling aggravated and stressed out - which ultimately ended up causing a combo panic/asthma attack one afternoon - I had to take a step back. This is not what I wanted. This is not what I was supposed to be feeling. It was time to stop, re-evaluate, and ask some questions.

What is the issue?
I am still feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by stuff. Overwhelmed by tasks. I feel like I'm doing so much with not much to show for it. Our family relationships are suffering because we're all stressed out and exhausted.

What do we want from this journey?
We want to live purposefully. We want everything that we do to bring us as much joy as possible. We want to enjoy life and not feel as though life is swallowing us whole.

How can we get there?
Eliminate, repair, or modify the things that are not bringing us joy.

Let me explain our "How can we get there" statement. We believe that everything we do or own requires a certain amount of work to keep it functional. Every item in our house requires work (yes, even the kid toys - you know all that work it takes to clean it up multiple times per day?). Every activity we do requires work. If the amount of work required for an activity or item is causing more stress than the amount of joy that it is bringing to us, then that activity or item is no longer functional for our family. Obviously there are the "no choice" things like doing laundry or dishes or going to a job or school, but there's still a certain amount of joy in each one of those. We enjoy wearing clean clothes and eating off of clean dishes. We enjoy the income a job brings and we enjoy the friends that we meet through school. But when the optional items are causing a problem, it's time to ask ourselves if it's worth it anymore.

We've had to apply that to our pets as well. We loved our guinea pigs, but when it came down to it, I was stressed out from the work required to maintain their cage and the money it was taking to purchase their food and bedding (close to $30 per month - that's $360 per year!). I was not getting much joy and that money could be used to pay down our mortgage or student loans. After some serious evaluation, we decided to re-home the guinea pigs. Thankfully we found a home quickly and there are four little girls who were very excited to welcome guinea pigs into their lives. We are happy that they are bringing joy to someone. We are currently having to evaluate the role our three cats play in our lives and deciding how to approach it. It's not easy, but when animals are causing actual damage to your home and relationships, then it's time to find a way to fix it. The animals deserve a better life than that too.

Training yourself to ask "Does it bring me joy?" whenever you are making a decision isn't easy, but well worth it. I'm finding that it's easier to purge our belongings when I ask myself that question. If the answer isn't a definite yes, then I don't need it in my life.

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